Detox

Just figured I'd post a little blurb on here with an update. After my sob story last month, I had a lot to think about. Obviously.

As I stated before, I am NOT giving up and I'm going to keep fighting to the bitter end. So rest assured I'm not just kicking the bucket and watching the days go by. My oncologist told me that I'm supposed to be hearing from someone at NIH about the enrollment for a clinical trial. It's a trial called the "CAR T-cell Project"...no idea what it stands for, but I did get a brief low-down on the details when I met with them last fall. Essentially it's pretty easy. After taking self-injections for at least a week (yay...), I go in one day and have two catheters put in (one in each arm). Through one catheter they withdraw blood and it goes through some kind of machine where they separate the T-cells. They return the leftover blood through the other catheter. Then over 2 or 3 weeks, they genetically modify the cells to attack my cancer. They return my cells (I'm assuming through an IV) and see if it works after about a month. It sounds TOTALLY cool and super sci-fi but I think they are on to something.

While I'm waiting for that phone call from NIH, my doctor and I are trying to look into other clinics around the country if NIH can't take me asap. During this time I've also been trying to eat SUPER HEALTHY. Not just fruits and veggies but I've been looking into supplements and vitamins. I figured I'd give anything a try in order to slow any progression or see if I have any luck in decreasing any cells. I'm desperate for a miracle and I won't go down without a fight.

So I'm currently detoxing this week and boy is it a KILLER. My body is showing all the usual symptoms of detoxing (minor skin irritation, body aches, bloating, and general irritability) but it's draining on me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not overdoing it...I feel like it's necessary to cleanse after having all these toxins roaming in my body. It's just....I can't seem to stay focused. I even got angry at my blender while making a shake last night, because I was so frustrated that I couldn't figure out how to put the lid on. Waking up this morning I had one mission...to search for new motivations to keep me going.

First stop was Hot Topic and I got a new carrying bottle for my shakes...it's a Deadpool design. For those who live under a rock or don't care for superheros, Deadpool is an anti-super-hero who is a cancer survivor and finds humor in everything...my hero through this nightmare.

Then I made a stop for a new heating pad that was on sale at Bed Bath and Beyond, because last night when my back decided to scream for help, my heating pad conveniently disappeared. And once I finish this post, I'm going to be bold and write up a message to one of my idols. He has inspired me to write what's on my mind and in my heart, and his music has been my rock through this whole journey...I'm speaking of none other than the genius himself...Lin-Manuel Miranda. My letter to him will be posted here, in the impossible miracle that he may see it one day.