So I had one week where I was running all over MD/VA/DC delivering presents to friends of mine. Before that I even managed to push through my cancer treatment fatigue to go to a rally in DC. It was to protest the Dakota Access Pipeline and over 1,000 of us walked down the streets of DC from the Justice Department to the Washington Monument where we had a HUGE rally.
Even special speakers came out including Dennis Kucinich, Shailene Woodley, and Chase Iron Eyes, the latter of whom I walked side by side with for most of the march. It was quite the experience and I can't wait to go to more rallies like this in DC...*cough*WOMEN'S MARCH 2017*cough*
I also manged to see the new spin-off Harry Potter movie called "Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them" a grand total of 4 times in the span of one month. As a die-hard Harry Potter fan, this movie was absolutely brilliant! I couldn't even contain my excitement as I was bouncing out of my chair during the big reveal ending...no spoilers.
Eventually all this running around and attending outings caught up with me, and I had to stay in for a bit...a lot of napping occurred in December. However it wouldn't stop me from pursuing my big Happy Bags Project. For those just tuning in, I mentioned in a few previous posts how I wanted to do a sort of "give-back" and spread some joy and laughter to those who find it difficult to experience that piece of happiness. I decided I would give out fun little goodie bags to the local children's hospice center. Each had little toys, treats, and activities for all ages, and every bag had my favorite life motto...a quote by Charlie Chaplin which reads "A day without laughter is a day wasted!". I try to live my life by this quote and wanted to share this little piece of wisdom.
So I made 22 bags of various colors and sizes and stashed them all in the trunk of my car. I drove out the next day and was able to deliver most of the bags to the staff members there to deliver to the children.
I sat down with some of the people who work there to discuss where I was coming from with this project, and I explained how I wanted to continue this Happy Bags idea every month or so. I was then told to sign up as a volunteer, to which I could even put my theatre/music talents to good use. I thought this was a brilliant idea as I haven't been working and wanted to personally meet the kids who received the Happy Bags. I immediately signed up and sent in my volunteer application.
About two days later I got an email back with something I was not expecting. One of the people from management responded to me and thanked me for my Happy Bags idea. However she continued to say she admired my courage and strength that I had with my ongoing cancer battle...but that I could in no way be a volunteer for the Hospice Center because I was currently undergoing treatment. Those who know me, know that I will most likely be on some form of treatment the rest of my life....therefore I could never be a volunteer. That shattered a layer of self-respect and pride in me as I really wanted this. They didn't give me any other explanation as to why that rule exists, but they said they wanted to meet with me to discuss if there is anything else I can do to help out. Perhaps I can continue the Happy Bags in some other way?...I won't know until late January when I meet with them. In the meantime I'm just bummed...
January is a month I'm not entirely looking forward to though. I am set to have my next PET scan on the 12th and it will be my first scan after starting this new immunotherapy. I'm already incredibly worried that it may not be having any good effect on the cancer. Just on Christmas day I noticed the lump on the side of my neck seemed more prominent and sore and I had a panic attack during the family dinner. I have a bad feeling I won't be getting good news next month...but I'm trying not to think about it too much...
Thankfully my grandmother and extended family are letting me take a 5 day vacation trip down to South Carolina where I can piece my mind back together and try to relax. Perhaps I will try blogging during my stay there and ignore all my stupid anxieties.
So while I try to relearn how to deep breathe and relax, I hope the rest of you out there have a wonderful start to the new year, and that you all were able to spend time with family, friends, and loved ones over the holiday. *Raises a glass of sparkling cider* So long 2016...you were horrific....and cheers to a better 2017!!! See you all there!
