Hey everyone!! I'm back from my travels. Needless to say, it was much needed!! Not only did I get to see my family in France, but I also got to see the sites in Scotland that I had been dying to see for years now. I came back October 1st and although I was sad to return home, I landed at the airport with a confident and ready mind.
The first 24 hours were a bit shaky, I'll admit. I didn't adjust well to jetlag, and I had to postpone my chemo treatment a few days allowing me to recuperate. I also woke up the first morning to another US tragedy, the Las Vegas shooting...which didn't help my emotional composure. It was a rather horrible "welcome home". However, by the time Thursday came around, I was feeling better and took my first pre-transplant steps. I completed (hopefully) my last chemo treatment, and immediately following that, I buzzed off what little hair growth I had accumulated over the last few months. Surprisingly, I actually liked seeing my hair short again. I think it's simply a relief that there's one less thing for me to worry about.
Then later that night, I got a call from my oncologist. He told me that he had managed to schedule me in for a last minute PET scan for the following evening to check and make sure there had been no growth during my travels...though he seems pretty confident that all will be well. I was actually excited and couldn't wait to start!
The next morning, just before my scheduled scan, I received another call. This time from the transplant coordinator at Johns Hopkins. I told her that if all goes well with the PET scan that I would be ready to proceed with the transplant. I may still be very worried about what lies ahead, which is normal when facing the unknown, but I'm in a positive state of mind and just want it to be over with. "The sooner the better!" I thought....until the coordinator told me
how soon and the slight change of plans.
She told me that she already has a transplant date set if everything goes according to plan. October 17th is when I go in to get a catheter put into my chest. This will be the first big challenge for me as the days leading up will be merely preparatory scans, tests, and consultations. The following 5 days after the catheter surgery will be very heavy doses of chemotherapy. I will be losing all of my hair during this time and will be very sick and weak. This doesn't trouble me too much as I'm already used to chemo sickness and hardly have any hair to worry about now. After the 5 days of chemo is the 20-minute full body radiation. This is the scariest part out of the whole ordeal as it is a major phobia of mine and I worry about the long-term effects. However, I have been told it is a very low dose and I will experience hardly any reactions besides fatigue. I will also be pre-medicated with anti-anxiety meds which should help me endure it. So...yay?
The day after radiation is my so-called new "birthday"...transplant day.
My sister, who will be my donor, will be giving some of her bone marrow cells to me that day. I don't really know what to expect, but it's probably not going to be as big of a deal as people make it out to be. After that is the long recovery and wait period to see if the transplant works.
Initially, I was told that the first month I would be inpatient within the hospital. However, less than two weeks before this scheduled transplant, the coordinator tells me that I will now be outpatient for the entire process. This means that I will be in a separate housing unit across the street from the hospital from the 17th of October until the end of the year. This also means I have to scramble to find last-minute caregivers. Thankfully two angels have stepped up to help me during the month of October. Now I just need to figure out what to do with months November and December. My mother has already offered to cover as much time as she can (especially during the holidays since I don't expect anyone to be free during that time). I have also created a calendar for anyone of my friends/family to volunteer their time to be a caregiver (let me know if you are interested).
With all that being said, I would like to take this moment to thank everyone who donated to my fundraiser; granting me the wish to see my family in France and to see where my family comes from in Scotland. It was an experience I will never forget, and I'm incredibly grateful for it. This trip was a much-needed escape from everything that has happened and the best way for me to approach what will most likely be the riskiest moment of my life. I thank all of you who contributed, from the bottom of my heart! You made me the happiest I have been in a long while.
I would also like to take this time to show my appreciation to you all. I'd like to thank everyone who has supported me these last two years, who have stayed in touch with me or have been reading this little blog of mine to keep up to date. I like to think of this blog as not only an outlet for what I'm experiencing but also as a way to either relate or understand what people dealing with cancer might have to go through. It hasn't been easy...and the hardest part is just around the corner. I promise I will continue to write my experiences while I'm in Baltimore these next few months.
I will most likely be getting my PET scan results in the next few days and will write more as the time to transplant approaches!
